Mindfulness

I wrote about the practice of mindfulness ie. ‘the awareness that arises from paying attention, on purpose, in the present moment and non-judgmentally’ and its benefits in March 2021 but wanted to again urge you to practise it with your children and a walk in the woods/outside on a rainy day is just the time and place to do so. When you’re on your daily walk encourage your children to pause, look, listen and breathe for as little as 10 minutes. Draw their attention to the rain drops sitting on the bare twigs of the trees and the sound that the rain makes as it patters onto the ground or watch and listen as it falls on the village pond or forms puddles. Can your children smell that it’s a wet day/describe the smell?

I find it takes more determination to manage a walk outside on a rainy day than it does on a sunny one but the benefits after are equal and you really do experience them on your return. I find that I have to have a walk firmly scheduled into my day and have to tell myself that bad weather cannot be used as an excuse not to go! As Mrs Jesse would certainly say ‘there is no such thing as bad weather, simply inappropriate clothing’. It is definitely the rallying of the children and the getting ready and out which is the hardest bit!

The short video attached demonstrates for me how much experiencing something of the outside and of nature can bring so much joy at a time when joy is so much harder to find and experience. It was a cold, wet January day so a walk to the beach, approaching sunset, didn’t seem to be the most attractive proposition but in the end it proved to be such an uplifting experience and even well worth the brisk, cold walk home. The sight of the starlings murmurating was so therapeutic with the sound of the waves and cries of the seagulls hugely adding to the experience. Mindful indeed!

Kindness

Kindness

This kindness calendar taps into the idea of gratitude and the positive effect that regularly practising gratitude has on our mental health and well-being. It encourages children to actively commit to 2 acts of kindness/day, 1 for themselves and 1 for someone else. You could discuss with your children what differences this could make,

It makes you feel good.                                                                                                         

It improves relationships.                                                                                             

It makes us all feel happy.                                                                                              

It can help to bond our communities and our families.  

You could look at each of the days and pick a favourite activity that you could do for each other in lockdown. Talk about why being kind might be difficult at the moment but why it is especially important and how it can bond you as a family. Discuss self-care and why it is important to take some time to be kind to yourselves - like when mum takes a bubble bath or when dad goes for a bike ride. Either create a family calendar of kindness or individual calendars - these can be a mix of self-care and kindness for others in the home. Remind the children of the calendar each day or share how you feel when they did a kind act for you.

Children Returning to School

The Government’s announcement that there is the possibility that children, in some Year groups, might begin to return to school at the beginning of June may have caused anxiety levels to rise in both parents and children alike. Children might need more support in managing their emotions in the run up and around the time when they, their siblings or friends begin to return to school. However, parents need to remember that ‘before we can help others we need to help ourselves’. The BiBorough Educational Psychology Consultation Service has produced a booklet giving this advice for adults. 

Try to

Take time out to get sufficient sleep, rest, relax and eat regularly and healthily.

Talk to people you trust and allow yourself to be comforted. You don’t have to tell everyone everything, but not saying anything to anyone is often unhelpful.

Reduce outside demands and avoid taking on additional responsibilities.

Spend time in a place where you feel safe and calm to go over what’s happened over the course of the day/week. Don’t force yourself to do this if the feelings are too strong or intense at the time.

Try to reduce your access to the constant stream of news from media outlets and social media. Try scheduling ‘digital power off’ times.

Use relaxation strategies e.g. slow breathing, progressive muscle relaxation, self-talk.

Build in opportunities for recognising hope and positive strength.

Allow yourself experiences of sadness and grief.

Try to avoid

Bottling up feelings. Consider whether it would be helpful to talk about them with someone you trust.

Feeling embarrassed by your thoughts, feelings or those of others. These are normal reactions to a stressful event and period of time.

Isolating yourself from those you trust and feel safe around.

Visualisation

Visualisation

If children are taught visualisation techniques they can use them when they are feeling anxious to help them to calm their minds. ‘Visualisation activates the same neural networks that actual task performance does, which can strengthen the connection between brain and body.’ (Stephen Kosslyn.Ph.D., author and neuroscientist)

The ability to pay attention, on purpose, in the present moment (practising mindfulness) we know can help to calm our emotions. Using visualisation we can reap the benefits from a place or context that we know makes us feel calm or happy, without actually needing to be there. If we think in great detail about the experience on our senses, of being in a specific place, it can help us to visualise and bring to mind the place once again, in turn, helping us to feel calm. You could help your child to imagine lying on a beach. The sky is blue, they can imagine how soft it feels to be lying on the sand, feeling the heat of the sun on their face and arms and they can hear the gentle lapping waves. You can encourage them to allow their body to relax into the soft, warm, sand. They could shut their eyes and breathe with the rhythm of the rolling waves.

I find walking on the beach in Brighton a calming experience. Using visualisation I bring to mind that same experience when I am not physically on the seafront. I need to think in great detail about what I can see, hear, feel and smell. I can see the sun illuminating the clouds and the sea stretching towards the horizon. I can hear the waves crashing onto the pebbles on the shore and cries from the seagulls. I can feel the heat of the sun and the spray from the waves on my face. I can smell the salt from the sea spray in the air. This is visualisation.

Gratitude

Gratitude

I trust that everyone, parents and children alike, have found time to relax together during the Easter break and enjoy the outside and the sunshine.

Gratitude (Gratitude Theory: Dr Robert Emmons)

Expressing gratitude has been found to activate the parasympathetic nervous system – lowering the heart rate, strengthening the immune system, improving sleep and relationships.

Practicing recognising 3 Good Things a day has been shown to decrease depression and increase happiness after only 1 week and have lasting effects for up to 6 months later.

Routinely try to start each day by encouraging you child to find 3 good things about their present situation eg. the sunshine (because it makes it pleasant to go outside or makes it brighter inside), that they are able to spend more time with their dog/cat, that they have more time to play with their lego etc.

It is also beneficial to routinely practice self-gratitude (being grateful for yourself, what you have and the life around you) and to encourage your child to also do so. Rather than being critical and hard on ourselves it’s important to actively recognise the good in ourselves, what we’re good at, the way in which we help others etc.

Below is the link for ‘Childline Calm Zone’ resources. The ‘Mirror’ activity may help your child to practice self-gratitude.

On 30th March I wrote about ‘Anxiety’ and suggested some breathing strategies that you could use with your child to support them with feeling less anxious. Again, the ‘Childline Calm Zone’ highlights some good breathing activities for use with children.

https://www.childline.org.uk/toolbox/calm-zone

Start your day the mindful way

During the Easter holiday if you’re out on a walk you could remember to listen to and look at your surroundings.

When we’re back at school you could continue to do this on your walk to school.

When you sit down to work at home focus on your breath for a moment before you begin your work.

Anxiety

Anxiety

The many changes that children have had to embrace, over the last few weeks, in the context of ‘normal’ daily life may have left them experiencing higher levels of anxiety than they would usually. More over young children may not recognise the feelings that they’re experiencing as anxiety and maybe unable to articulate how they’re actually feeling. Below is a sequence of suggestions that may support your child to feel less anxious.

The word APPLE may prompt you to easily remember the sequence.

Firstly take time to Acknowledge with your child how they’re feeling. Maybe talk to them about how they’re feeling physically. They might describe a funny feeling in their tummy.

Next encourage them to Pause. You might try to do some breathing with them. Playing with soap bubbles, a paper windmill or blowing out candles are all techniques for encouraging children to breathe. These all encourage the emptying of your lungs of breath and then feeling them fully with fresh breath.

Next encourage them to Push back against the worry, to actively acknowledge that they don’t need to bow to it or let it get the better of them.

Next support your child to Let go of the worry. They could record the worry through drawing or writing on a piece of paper. This paper could then be screwed or torn up and put in the bin or it could be shut away in a worry box.

Lastly Explore the moment. Maybe go outside and take note of 5 things that you can see, how it smells outside and a couple of sounds that can be heard.

Working through this sequence of techniques can also be useful for us as adults if we’re feeling anxious ourselves.

Relaxation

Relaxation

It is important for children to be relaxed before going to bed as this will enable them to more easily fall asleep. A consistent bedtime routine, including possibly a bath and definitely a bedtime story, read in a relaxing and quiet environment can help with this. Children can also learn techniques which can help them to better relax their bodies.

Relaxing Your Body

Repeat these simple movements 3 or 4 times 

-      Sit or lie somewhere quiet and comfortable

-      Stretch out your arms. Make a fist and then relax

-      Push your legs out, wiggle your toes and then relax

-      Shut your eyes tight and pull a scrunched-up face and then relax

Mindfulness

Supporting our emotional well-being, and that of our children, is going to be very important at this time, where so many of the regular routines and important social interactions have been disrupted.

Mindfulness can be defined as “the awareness that arises from paying attention, on purpose, in the present moment and non-judgmentally”. The benefits of practising mindfulness regularly have been well documented in terms of positive impact on physical and mental health.

If mindfulness is practised regularly it is a bit like physical exercise. Our bodies get used to it, become better at it and it gradually begins to have a greater positive effect on our physical and mental health.

We have been instructed by the government that it is beneficial to continue to exercise (only with those people with whom we live) and to make sensible use of the outdoors. If you are walking outside with your children, actively encouraging them to engage with their senses will help them to focus in the present moment. Encourage them to identify 5 things that they can hear, 5 things that they can see, possibly a couple of things that they can smell and 5 different textures that they can touch.